Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas Are Real Turnoffs

a snarky look at a serious problem

Honey, the rapist in our bedroom? He has to leave. I won’t disrobe until he is disrobed. And that goes for his perjurer friends, too.

Nothing gets a woman out of the mood more quickly than having Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas in her bedroom. I mean, a rapist and a sex harasser? That can really kill the buzz.

Honey, I’m sorry but I just can’t. You need to get them out of here. Show them the door. Tell them to take their sorry asses and their ridiculous rulings out. Tell them to apologize and resign.

Really. This is absolutely necessary.

I’m not saying they are your fault, but — well, be a MAN about it, okay? Do you actually care about me, or are you just a selfish prick?

I know you try. I appreciate that. I really do. But still — I just can’t. You need to try harder and longer. We aren’t going to have sex, much less an actual baby until we get this situation fixed. That’s just the way that it is.

Oh, and about your dad. He voted for the guys who put in Thomas and Kavanaugh. He actually LIKES them and worse — AGREES with them. So, you’ve got to tell him that he can’t see his grandchildren again. Ever. Or at least until he gets those bozos out of our bedroom.

The simple fact is, legally it’s not my body any more so I can’t share it with you. Ask Clarence if it’s okay. Ask Brett. Hey, you can…