Member-only story

Lunch At Tiffany’s

Ray Katz
2 min readJun 1, 2023

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Fiction. Completely silly and fun. Time for a diversion?

Doodle by author

I’m a late sleeper. I bet, due to the coolness factor, being associated with Audrey Hepburn and all, breakfast is probably insanely crowded. And I’m not hipster enough for brunch.

So, I woke up this afternoon with a hankering for lunch at Tiffany’s. I’m thinking maybe a pulled pork sandwich and a beer. But Tiffany’s is a high end place. I may end up getting the Parmesan crusted tilapia. We’ll see.

I put on my best dress, my darkest eyeliner, my reddest lipstick and my highest heels and totter over to 5th Avenue. Lina is ready.

So I’m asking the man if he’d recommend the pulled pork sandwich and he carefully explains to me that Tiffany’s doesn’t offer a pulled pork sandwich. I’m really embarrassed and I try to make it sound like I was only joking. Then I took the safe route ordering the Parmesan crusted tilapia. Shockingly, he tells me they don’t have that either. I guess one of the other customers got the last one.

So, I say, “I’ll have whatever Audrey Hepburn had when she ate here.”

The man explains that Audrey was here before his time and he’s pretty sure she was filming at Tiffany’s, not eating.

Bummer.

It was disappointing discovering that Tiffany’s doesn’t serve any food. But I just finished watching a documentary and I’m on to something new. I’ll let you know when I find the treasure of the Sierra Madre. I’m really excited!

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Ray Katz
Ray Katz

Written by Ray Katz

Internet pioneer. But I’m most interested in stabilizing the Earth’s climate and promoting our common humanity. WeAreSaners.org

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