Strangely, my dad often spoke like a racist but behaved exactly the opposite. He's long gone, but I remember him speaking out against black people demanding too much. And then I spotted him patiently helping a black guy—a stranger—fill out a job application. Neither of these behaviors were flukes. They were typical of him.

I don't know what all that says about what went on inside him. I was embarrassed by his racist words. But proud of his kind actions.