People argue with me. And I argue with them. I try to do it in a friendly way, for a number of reasons.
- I like people and when they disagree with me, I still tend to like them.
- I can be wrong. That’s not a knock — we are all wrong from time to time.
- Sometimes I find out something new although that happens less often than I’d like.
- If you are friendly, you are more likely to connect with people, and that can be pleasant for both.
That said, I have no special knowledge or authority. Okay, I do have some special knowledge — I have better than average expertise in website development. And I know more than most people about the history of space travel.
But otherwise, I assume I’m about average among reasonably well-read people. I assume the same about other people — people tend to have a hobby or an interest in which they are more knowledgeable than most, but are otherwise at roughly the same level of expertise as others.
Oh, this doesn’t hold for people who are passionate about some ideology and “do their own research.” They tend to be loud, aggressive and “know” many things that simply aren’t true. And those people really want to change my mind.
Here’s the thing: it’s really hard to change anyone’s mind and in most cases, there’s little benefit in doing so. You are probably going to frustrate yourself, get angry at me and go on a tirade. And since I have virtually zero influence on policy, changing my mind would have no discernible effect on the world.
Let’s not do that. We can disagree and still get along. And maybe find something we have in common — we love goldendoodles, or classic science fiction.
I don’t expect to “win” arguments. Nor do I care to. But I’d be really satisfied with an argument if afterwards I better understood your position — such that I could restate your position in a way that you agreed was fair — and you better understood mine. Agreement is unlikely and unnecessary.
Let’s just connect. Okay?
